sunflower saturdays

To the blue eyed, blonde haired surfer boy downtown,

I wish I could tell you how beautiful you are. Most of what I would tell you would be lost in translation but if, in this lifetime I got to tell you the things that come rushing to my heart every time I see you, this is what I would tell you:

There’s a glitter in your eyes that blinds me when you brush past me.

Your dirty golden curls that’s been growing out remind me of a movie where you would be the prince who’s too good for this world.

You radiate like the sun finds its home inside your lean figure.

You have a smile that makes me smile for days; you have a smile that, alongside your rose-red cheeks make me want to look at you for days – take in your pure beauty like it powers my soul.

You look and feel like you’re brimming with youth and happiness like you’ve never known what it is like to be sad.

I could count the times I’ve met you on my fingers and yet you never cease to occupy a little corner of my otherwise crammed head.

I cannot calculate the chances of us meeting again and of you remembering me, of you smiling at me like my smile lights up your day too.

There are too many people in this world than we can fathom and you and I are too distant for my passing feelings to matter but –

I just wanted to let you know that you’re like a sunflower that I want to pluck and keep, but also a sunflower I want to watch grow even more beautiful.

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car crashes

car crashes are strange things;

before you call me an absolute nutter,

just listen me out – i promise it’ll make sense.

car crashes are inflicting death upon yourself

but unbeknownst to you and entirely unwanted.

It’s not a heart attack you had no idea would come your way,

or cancer slowly gnawing away and you preparing for impending doom,

or stepping off a ledge atop the glistening city, because you want to.

No, it’s being tangled in a mechanic mess

that you didn’t want to be in.

There’s no predicting it, except perhaps in the last 30 seconds,

where your entire life – light, laughter, failure, success, a chaotic madness  –

is flashing before you, and you can do nothing anymore

except for maybe, steer in panic,

hug your partner

or protect your daughter.

You’re suddenly living life by the second

staring at Death in his eyes, helpless

and you know you’re going to combust into flames

along with the petroleum, the gas and the shards of glass,

like your life meant nothing;

but you could also brace yourself,

crumple into your foetal position

or push the brake right on time and continue,

like you didn’t just see Death pass by in a split second.

Nevertheless,

through penning these gory thoughts, I realised that

car crashes are like the epitome of how uncertain life could possibly be.

 

~Ushashi Basu